"Amanda Smith please go to room 12." The sounds echoed and bounced off the dull white walls and floors, i stepped forwards and slowly made my way to the red painted door labelled neatly 'Dr Drew', my heart pounded as i stared at the name.
The room was plastered in success stories and treatment plans, something which made my stomach churn. The room was whiter than light, blinding me as i entered. Behind the desk sat Dr Drew looking glumly at the stacks of papers he had in front of him, his bright blue eyes suddenly looked up and pierced at me and his lips curled into a small smile. He spoke softly "Amanda how great it is to see you, please take a seat."
Hello there-
ReplyDeleteI really like how descriptive you are in your writing such as "the sounds echoed and bounced off the dull white walls and floor" great use of adjectives. The simile is used well . To improve Id suggest capital letters and perhaps adding advanced vocab (i dont really know) you're welcome xx
Erin:
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this, it's so descriptive and the adjectives used increase the reader's empathy towards Amanda. The only Criticism i can think of is the of more capital letters possibly Other than that you should definitely make this your 800 word piece.